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| To: A dad From: A Dad Practical advice from a father of 4 1/2 |
| Excerpt from the section on toddlers titled You are the adult: Think about your first day at work – you didn’t know anything. You remember, “that guy” showed you where you get coffee, warned you to make sure you were in by 8:00 A.M. sharp, warned you about the man in the IT department and gave you the “do’s and don’ ts” of the office politics. That guy gave you the ground rules so you would know how to play the game properly. When you don’t know the rules, you make mistakes without even knowing they are mistakes until it’s too late. You could have learned the hard way, but that guy saved you a lot trial and error- which made those first few weeks a lot easier. Now... you need to be “that guy” for your toddler. You need to set fair, clear guidelines for your toddler and make sure that they totally understand the rules and consequences. • Set a bedtime and stick to it. • Make a rule that everyone always eats dinner at the family table. • Don’t tolerate back talk to the momma • Get a “time out” chair and use it • When Mommy & Daddy say “No”- that’s the end of the discussion. “That guy” played a critical role in how you acted those first few weeks at work. You can probably still remember what he told you. Your toddler will remember, too. |
| Excerpt from the section on Bedtime Routines: Ask any parent about the most difficult time of day, and most of them will agree that it’s bedtime! This is where a little discipline can make a huge difference in your life. I’m not talking about disciplining the kid, I’m talking about disciplining yourself (and your wife) to have the strength to follow the ‘bedtime routine’. What is the ‘bedtime routine’? Well that’s really up to you, but I guarantee that if you don’t develop one you and your wife will develop your own routine of pulling your hair out at bedtime! Ask around and you will hear horror stories from parents who haven’t established a bedtime ritual. They will say things like: • He won’t go to sleep unless we lay down with him • He’s still sleeping in our bed at night (I’ve heard this from parents who have a 6 year old!) • Bedtime is a nightmare- sometimes he goes down at 7, and sometimes it’s not until 11 • She just doesn’t want to go to bed at night. This not only makes every night a traumatic time, but it can also be a terrible strain on your marriage! You owe it to your wife and your child to set up a bedtime routine and stick to it every single night! It makes it much easier for everyone, and your entire family will be much happier. Believe me! So what is the routine? Well, it varies a little bit depending on the age of your child, so I’ll break it down by age and address it in several sections throughout this book. |
| Excerpt from the section titled The Totem Pole Shift: Before the baby, you were the chief and your wife was the queen. After you have the baby, you drop down to #3, behind the baby and the momma. Why? Because it takes most of your wife’s energy and attention to take care of the new prince or princess, and there isn’t as much time for the chief. What can you do? Understand it and accept it. You are still the chief, it’s just that the heir to the throne needs the queen’s (and the chief’s) attention. That’s just the way it is. And yes, each time you have another child you move down one more notch on the totem pole. The trick: Don’t let her forget why she loves you, and vice-versa. Forgetting this will lead to the end of your tribe as you know it. Think about it chief. |
